A disturbing trend I've been noticing since starting grad school is the misuse of my personal time. I work at lab, I socialize, but when I get home, my discipline falls apart. It's awkward to use the word discipline in that context, because the things I intend to do are, well, things I want to do. But almost inevitably, I wind up frittering away every last minute of my spare time on the internet, and going to bed far too late as a result.
I want to read more. I have books picked out. I used to love reading. I don't know why it's so hard to pick up a book anymore.
I want to finish my Afghan.
I want to incorporate cleaning into my day, so the house isn't a pit by Friday.
I want to write Christmas cards and make packages of caramels for friends and family.
But the call of Reddit and Facebook are just too great, even if there's absolutely nothing interesting to look at. The loss of control irritates me, even infuriates me at times. But like the sweets, my good intentions fail to stick. My willpower is too limited. My standards for myself are NOT too high.
Frustrating. I remember my priorities and values, but I fail to act accordingly. I'm not sure how to overcome the gap between intent and action. It's a struggle that's starting to really wear on my nerves.
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